The NUTS

Celebrity Nuts

PLEASE DON’T FEED THE NUTS!

For a good portion of Hollywood celebrities, the gift of success brings with it the curse of insanity. Each week it seems like a different actor’s personal demons, which are compounded by the stresses of fame, send them straight into the waiting arms of the celebrity gossip tabloids to document their downfall. Meanwhile there are others who have to this day, avoided public embarrassment, but have nonetheless been labeled crazy because they’re eccentric.

Here’s just a few who made the list of celebrity nuts:

Actress Faye Dunaway:

The decorated veteran actress keeps it light most of the time, but, having played one of America’s most famous outlaws, she too is known to get gangster when she feels the need to. Of course, her assessment of when the moment calls for it differs vastly from that of a sane, less egomaniacal person. Ms. Dunaway is notorious for blacking out on anyone in the service industry (hotel concierge, flight attendants) who would dare to give her anything less than the best, but beyond that, she isn’t above thugging journalists should they—God forbid—not stick to her script.

She left a hilariously batshit string of voicemails for her biographer’s producer, redundantly railing on the poor guy for asking too many questions about her Joan Crawford flop Mommie Dearest. A Guardian reporter who had the stones to bring up Roman Polanski was unceremoniously shown the door in frantic, shrieking fashion.

And what about Roman makes Faye rage so? Well, the story goes that she and the director quickly built up a contentious relationship on the set of Chinatown due to his controlling methods, a tense situation that boiled over when he made her do numerous takes of the same car scene despite her pleas for a bathroom break. Did Faye freak out and storm off set? Nope. Instead, when Polanski bent down to the car window to give her yet another piece of direction, she rolled the window down, threw a coffee cup full of liquid in his face and rolled the window back up. Bathroom break achieved.

Actor Joqauin Phoenix

Did Joaquin Phoenix go nuts and publicly lose his mind on late night television, or was it all a hoax? That was the question on everyone’s minds in February 2009 when River’s little brother appeared on Late Show with David Letterman looking like one of the Geico cavemen, with an announcement that he was retiring from acting to pursue a hip-hop career.

Of course, he and Casey Affleck later revealed the shenanigans were all part of a mockumentary they were filming called I’m Not Here. But we’d like to point out that while that February Late Show appearance was bizarre, no one was positively shocked the next day. Why not? Because Joaquin had a history of alcoholism and was prone to behavior that was classified as eccentric at best. He and Casey can tell us this was a hoax all along, but if it ever came out that at one point a J. Phoenix album was seriously in the cards, we wouldn’t be surprised.

Actor Kiefer Sullivan

The gravel-voiced action icon has a history of DUIs as well as plain ol’ drunken misbehavior, like taking his shirt off in strip clubs because, we suppose, there’s no better way to thank strippers for their dedicated hard work than going topless in solidarity.

Then there are the times Sutherland bought into his own press and handled certain situations Jack Bauer-style to account for. In ’09 he head-butted a fashion designer who allegedly made a lewd comment to his good friend Brooke Shields. And in 2006, while partying with the band he manages at a London hotel, Kief Bauer spotted what we can only assume was a suspicious looking Christmas tree and, in the name of “justice first, questions later,” he tackled and smashed it around the lobby—but not before first promising the staff he’d pay for it, of course.

Actor Wesley Snipes

We already know Wesley is more than a little nutty when it comes to the taxes, but comedian/character actor Patton Oswalt recently revealed to AV Club one of the best set anecdotes ever in regards to Blade: Trinity that shed light on just how wild for the night Snipes is. Apparently we have him to thank for Ryan Reynold’s myriad of so corny-they’re-awesome puns that almost make the forgettable threequel worthwhile, because at that point Wes was calling his own shots.

He frequently battled with director David Goyer, refused to come out of his pot-den trailer for anything other than close-ups, and when he did decide to act, the result was so flat and emotionless that Reynolds was given free reign to go ham on the improv. In the name of delivering this great performance, Wes remained firmly in character on set, going so far as to introduce himself as Blade on Patton’s first day.

His antics peaked when he attempted to strangle Goyer during one of his rare set appearances, which led the frightened director to enlist a couple of local Vancouver bikers to be his “bodyguards.” The fracas was enough to push Wesley to cut first-hand interaction with Goyer off completely, opting for post-its as a means of communication for the rest of the shoot. Each of which was, of course, signed “Blade.”

Comedian Actress Lily Tomlin:

The comedienne/actress  has her crazy contained to one noteworthy incident, that we know of, but boy is it a doozy. Director David O. Russell is known for his eccentric methods to elicit the best performance possible from his actors, and on the set of I Heart Hucakbees, Lily Tomlin didn’t take to his particular type of motivation.

A pair of on-set videos reveals them both getting on each other’s bad side respectively: Tomlin positively loses her shit during a car scene in a tirade that would make Ari Gold blush, threatening to “break the whole fu@king set up.” Then she gets her revenge when she systematically pushes Russell’s buttons until he blows up at her in front of the cast and crew, cursing her out while storming all over the place, hilariously re-appearing in different spots on the set. And you thought your workplace was rife with tension.

Actor Tom Cruise:

Tom Cruise gained his nuts notoriety  eight years ago, when he was jumped on Oprah’s couch like Kevin McCallister because he was oh so in love with her. What was intended as a cute display of love was instead an instant pop-culture moment that served as an initial alert that Tom had maybe lost some of his marbles in between all of those action movie chase scenes.

Then there’s the reason Katie is rumored to be leaving him for in the first place: Scientology. Plenty of actors have adopted the cult-like religion, but Cruise’s support is on an otherworldly level, and can be very off-putting to others. Just ask Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer, both of whom had very public spats with Tom about the validity of postpartum depression, chemical imbalances, and the like.

Whether the Church of Scientology planned Katie Holmes’ pregnancy to position Suri Cruise as the harbinger of their worldwide takeover, well…that remains to be seen.   There’s no denying it…. he’s NUTS!

Actor Charlie Sheen:

The reigning Best Lunatic Alive. Carlos Estevez is nuts for sure, but unlike other actors who’ve suffered meltdowns—some of whom are on this list—Chuck has managed to not only stage a comeback (of sorts), but also profit off of the public downfall itself. We were all witnesses when he lost what was at the time the highest paid acting gig in television, and all of the cringe-worthy (but let’s face it, also kind of awesome) tiger blood talk that came after.

But Sheen had been battling substance abuse since the ’90s, and before the goddesses and Brook Mueller, there was Kelly Preston, his fiancé that he accidentally shot in the arm not long before she broke off the engagement. Charlie is a habitual f@ck-up, and yet somehow, continues to win, and make winning his de facto trademark at that. More celebrity nuts here